The beauty of the encounter of a sewing machine and an umbrella on a dissecting table

My dreams have been full and ripe lately. Maybe it's because I sleep on a small and uncomfortable bed in a noisy Czech flat, far from anything I know, but, then again, I've heard the R-E-S-P-E-C-T by Aretha 3 days in a row, and in three different places. I ducked into a Cinska Restaurace to get out from under the thumb of this Soviet cold front that's been hitting the CR the last few days, and, in it, was the biggest fish I've ever seen in a tank, with the tank being only marginally bigger than the fish, itself. Maybe it's been too much for the kid, these last few weeks, but I could swear that the fish was turning a queer eye at me, as he bent in two to face the other direction, all without ever being more than a half-handful of inches from the far end of its world. A hoary czech in a tight green apron came out from the kitchen to see who had opened his door, allowing it to slam a little. I held up a finger, and he shrugged, motionioning internationally, to sit wherever the fuck I wanted. I sat by the fish and lit a cigarette to feel a little warmer. The fish seemed to be a little surprised that anyone was in the place, too. I unfolded the paper napkin that formed an adroit little teepee at my place seeting and allowed it to rest, prone. I smoked, and looked at the fish. Then, I smoked, and tried not to look at the fish. It's just that it was such a big fucking fish. The man never reappeared from the kitchen, and, after I stubbed out my smoke, I split. I felt like I should have stolen a bottle of something, just to feel famous. Instead, I ran through the cold, and, upon arriving, stripped off my layers of winter clothes, and settled for feeling like a waitress on vacation.
Like Rimbaud muttered, "It is necessary to be absolutely modern." On the obverse, I'd put my money on Lautremont in a streetfight.

Eye stair threw pains

I'm still having such a problem figuring out my new mobile phone. It seems that I only way I can successfully recharge, is to go to the place I bought it. They close so early, and aren't open on Sunday. KJP is probably flipping out. I'm stressed, and don't even want to worry about it now.
I've got a big test on Monday, and I have to plan a lesson for the advanced class, as well. They all speak better English than half of the teachers in my program. I completely flopped the last time that I had to teach them, so I want this lesson to be good. I'll figure out something.
My roommate Wills and I went out on a seriouis piss seconds after class eneded on Friday. At the end of a long night, a cab driver tried to charge us 3 times what he he should have. We told him to go fuck himself, and gave him 200 crowns, which is more than he desrved. The Czechs will try to fuck you. Count your change. Take the Metro instead of a cab, if you can. Walk, if you need to, but watch out for dogshit.
I've been a slut for Milan Kundera novels since I landed here. They're soooo good. I'm staying in for the night, to plan my lesson and revise for my test. I feel like such a nerd, but I just want to get this certificate, and start actually living here.
Oh yeah, as far as roulette is concerned, if you are chasing a number, do not quit until you catch it. I was down to my last few crowns, and finally, 8 told the kid it loved him veryvery much. Now I know why 8 in Czech is Awesome.

I saw a bunch of Hasids staring at this the other day, while a jazz band played the girl from ipanema in the freezing cold. It's been stuck in my head since then.

Olive Oil Turtle Turds

I ordered a cold plate at a dive Italian restaurant off the Nove Mesto yesterday. I was stabbing hunks of Edam and Ham and Camembert and stinky cheese, and shoveling them in my face. As I went through the selection, one cheese brought me to a halt as I squeezed it in my mouth. Talking before swallowing, which I avoid at all costs, I told my roommates that I had a very important statement to make. They watched as I chewed thoughtfully, and added hunks of breadrolls into the churning mash between my teeth. As they waited, the anticipation grew. At last, I swallowed, and took a second along with a big sip of Coca-Cola a Vino (Cheap red wine and Coke, Not Bad). They had to stay themselves from blurting, "Spit it out!", now that I had nothing actual to spit out. I said, in all seriousness, pointing weakly to the three remaining hunks of cheese, of which I had eaten the fourth in one big bold bite. "That," affirming eye contact to relay my seriousness,"is butter..."

hihihihihihi

Fuck! I just erased a lengthy post trying to use the Czech Keyboard. I don't know how to use the accented letters that are on the number keys. I'll figure it out. I'm a clever girl.
I'm picking up a little Czech. It's funny. I used to make fun of the expressions that Borat used on the Ali G. show, and now I actually use those words all the time. Jagshamesh is how ya doin'. Dyekwee is thanks. Those are spelled phonetically, cuz the pronunciation is a trip. I live with 3 british folks, and they're great. We're becoming fast friends.
This town has some amaaaaazingly beautiful old architecture, which is usually covered with grafitti. Look down when you walk around, because the sidewalks are plastered with dogshit. Oh yeah! When they give you change at a store, they will not hand it to you. That's just how they do it here. You can expect to pay to use a public toilet and a shopping cart. They're usually about 50 cents. The baskets in the markets only have one handle, and you have to buy your bags at the grocery store. That took me a trip or two to firgure out.
Expect some pictures here soon, because I just got my laptop up and running. Peace & Love, Truth & Soul. The bitch is back.
I've got my own tag, too. I've been writing "Sting is Dead!" in all the bar bathrooms, because I think it's funny...
More soon.

byebyebyebyebyebyebyebye

Well, I wanted to post a set of links, so you can look for the stuff I used to find for you. Alas, everything is piling up at the last minute, and I'm practically out the door. Maybe I can find an enthusiatic sould to take this over, while I concentrate on the RTPrague Blague, but I don't have high hopes.
For your one stop internerd shopping, look to Hemaworstje. He's a bit of a perv, but one with undeniable taste, plus he updates many times daily.
For music, The runout groove has a great set of links. Listen to Fluxblog, Ready Rock Moe Rex, and 20 Jazz Funk Greats (Must love a site named for Throbbing Gristle Albums.)
God, sorry for ending this on kind of a ehh note, but here's a quote from John Cage to set you sailing.
"If you develop an ear for sounds that are musical it is like developing an ego. You begin to refuse sounds that are not musical and that way cut yourself off from a good deal of experience."
Follow LuWorm, he knows the way.
To Barndance, Agru, Illy Na, MC Styloh, Mz. Lily, the Divine Ms. Yo, Luworm, and any other F.O.RTP that waste their time paying attentio to how I waste my time, I love y'all to little bits. Keep your chins up, and don't let the basterds get you down.
Once and Truly, RTPout.....