Blington

I'm back to town. I stopped by Two Oaks & a Stump on the way home. Some Elements of SQUIRM were busy laying down some sort of a rough demo to play for someone with something to do with somebody... Then 3 Black Calves showed up from out of nowhere. They were just strolling unfenced, and not really digging it. A few Half-Amish farmhands led them up against the sheep enclosure, in order to head them into the Cow enclosure with the other bovines. The calves freaked. One of them split for Mexico, apparently to star a UFO religion. The other two absolutely freaked, tore right through the fence, and burst into el Casa del Sheepo. The sheep were really into that turn of events. The Sheep enclosure is basically a fence surrounding a very tiny pond. So, by now, all the farmers in the area are showing up to see if the cows are theirs, or if they can help. The Sheep are freaking out. The Cows are freaking out. People are chasing livestock in circles around the lake. This one spaz sheep won't lay off the "MaaaaaBaaaaaaa". It sounds like Jerry Seinfeld in a Turkish Prison. Then it started raining. Sufficed to say, I split before the conclusion of this episode of Backcountry C.O.P.s... more like C.O.W.s... Who let the cows out? moo moo moo moomoo...



I always thought it would be funny if they made pacifiers for babies, but with the handles shaped like those grotesque wax lips...



My freind YO might move to San Francisco... They do cool things like dropping a bazillion Superballs at once...




I know I trashed Ashton Kutcher last week, but that Federline skit he did on SNL was pretty funny... Federline, Yo!



While conceptual continuity gets slippery, particulary over extended periods of time, I find it comforting that so many hot buttons issues, which are constantly being foisted aloft as new examples of the decline of western civilization, are, in fact, old hat...


That guy looks like Fedrline... yo. I only got to see the number 5 for a second this weekend. Better luck next time, but I thought of him and his affecion fo the 8 bitness when I heard these.

As someone who's spent a little time under the careful inspection of qualified health care professionals, let me tell you, MRI Machine say the funniest things!

Paul Anka vs. Casey Kasem



I just sumbled across a great Flickr search engine.

Catholic atheists & Gay Japanese Militants should dig this...

I approached my latest trip with the usual lack of planning...

My buddy Miloh is already getting excited about All Hallows Eve... Now I am, too.

What time is it?


I'm a heartless bastard, but this is funny.

Tennis Elbow

People at work make fun of me for wearing dark colored socks and shorts, colorful kid shirts with diverging stripes, for shaving my head... countless offenses, I commit to offend the refined sensibilities of my fellow Amish-Country warehouse personnel. I don't care if I look cool doing it, as long as I get it done. (thanks to YO for the link)



Speaking of which, if I hear one more person say "Git-R-Done", then I'm going to respond with something equally fresh, like, say, Austin Powers Impersonations (yeah, I totally did that hilarious and endearing thing where I put my pinky to my lip and stared at the imaginary camera)... Yeah, Bab... I can't even type it. That played-out unfunny mimicry stabs my mind with a dull penknife of shitwittery.



Speaking of YO, I'm totally bummed that our plans to see HST's Ashes shot out of a cannon never materialized... That would have been... well, a trip.





Did you know that Carrot Top could kick all your asses?


Man, I tell you what! In spite of being a witless shitwit, Ashton Kutcher still manages to sell his charmlessness. I know he's good-looking, but I jus thtink that fucking show on MTV is a brainsore... and that's within the context of MTV's shows. Here's a funny premise! Let's have Black Rappers get harassed by people who appear to be cops. Even better, have the cops force the rappers into embarassing displays of obedience! HaHa! Those dumb Black Rappers don't even realize that the cops fucking with them is such an absurd concept that it simply must be the work of some comic genius. Cops fucking with Black People! How could that not be seen as a hilarious joke? And Man, His girlfriend's career has gone downhill since she quit posing naked for money...



Can anyone help?



The banjo is actually an instrument of African origin. That movie had to go and ruin it for everyone, because, let's face society's Banjo Disparity together, not many African-Americans are seen pickin' on the five string...



OK, You never see it in ReaL LifE!








Peace & Loves, kiddies! I'm off to Bloomington for the weekend.

In God, Wet Rust

My bloggage is sloppy because I'm out of shape. I did stumble across an image of cool stuff that Nintendo's ROM Chips will do under the right circumstances.



People often reference the elements of synchronicity between Dark Side of the Moon, and The Wizard of Oz. I think the heretofore unforeseen connection between a good old-fashioned snowboarding video game and EATSTAPES! has infinitely more meaningful implications. I like the track House Mice.


Has everybody seen the video for the Pussycat Dolls' single? My thoughts?


I hate to admit it, but I will see this NASCAR movie in the theater.



Now, Does Eva Longoria have a mole on her right buttcheek, or is my screen dirty. I keep looking, but I can't tell... I just want to know if my screen is dirty...



Yeah... total mole... Speaking of ugly people on television, I totally want this parishilton shirt...



I think that's at least part of the reason I like Dog, The Bounty Hunter.... It gets ugly people on TV.



I'm distracted... I need to shitshineshaveshowershampoo&eat, then maybe I'll drop another dollop. For now, the obvious solution.

Mishawaka

To escape from the fast-paced, action-packed Hollywood spectacular that is Mishawaka, I look for things like MP3s from the Joe Vs. the Volcano soundtrack in the privacy of my Sanctum Sanctorum.


My friend, Ms. Yo, has a new rocking pop combo called My Village is Number One, or something close to that. She always sends me cool collages, so bakatcha!


Now I'm thinking about my friends down south, because I plan on going back this weekend. I can't wait to sit around and spin rekkids with Amor Loco, the Master of the All-seeing Eye of Agamotto.

And then, we have the #5. I can't wait to see that kid. I'll get some beats to post up in this piece soon. 5, this is for you.

I love how the caption defines the LPs as being hard to find, and simultaneously displays Gerry Rafferty. sigh...

I'm back...

Well, let's hope everything goes smoothly from here on out. It was really touching that some of the F.O.R.T.P got all spazzy-kitty when I quit posting. Well, fear no more, My Spazzy Cats & Kitties...



And now, The Smut that you've come to expect... Who wants to be safe for work, anyhow?


I've been listening to the new The White Stripes' album lately. The best song has a video. I like it, but I usually am fairly keen on their video presentations...



The Company I work for just got sold, and the new owners know how to make a guy feel...



They actually had me empty the warehouse inorder to sweep underneath the dirty boxes of furnaces, water heaters, and White Amish Babies... and they're classy, too. Enough of that Amish Country drag that my life has become over the last few... well, since I moved here a year ago.
Now, ometimes I wonder what I learned in College. I've got my Social Security # memorized. This Guy took advantage of the opportunities for enlightenment more fully than yours truly. Lot of miles between me and those days... Well, not a lot lot.



If I'd have known that I was going to have my Picture Taken..



About... Fucking... Time!!! I really truly must have...




Soooo... I've been trying to get in shape.



If anyone has ever had the right to throw a completed Rubik's Cube on the floor, and shout, unironically, "Fuck Yeah!", then it's this chap...



How 'bout we spread some fresh Swayze on this muffin?



He already has the look of a true Bouncer/Philosopher... Say it with me...



He just drops the most brilliant exigeses in this flick, and in life. In fact, the Swayze has given me my own personal motto, of late...



True... true. Remember kids, Jesus is Magic!



Maybe I'm partial to Sarah Silverman because she reminds me of my favorite Canadian Blogorita, or vicey-versey.



I'm off to tell the dogs in my hood whose house this is... (yeah, that's Casey Affleck on his 30th Birthday)