Speaking of which, Do you realize how hard it is to find Orangutan-on-Orangutan Porn? Help a kid out. I saw a few pics of an Orangutan Blowjob a few years ago, and it was one of the funniest things I've ever seen. In one of them, the fella was all OOOOH with his bottom lip stuck out to the side. Find Them!
Which makes me think that Pure Bestiality is an untapped market. It doesn't sexually arouse me to see two animals making messy, but it is fucking funny. I remember watching this Documentary series for Science class in high school. It was an episode called "Continuing the Line", or something along those lines consisted of shot after shot of a veritable Noah's Ark Orgy. Elephants are Hung... like elephants. Their gear drags on the ground. Not only that, but it's prehensile, too, like a periscopic Peniscope. Galapagos Tortoises... That was great. Two males scrap it out over an ovualting female. The winner of the fight flips the other onto his back. The defeat in his black-bead turtle eyes is really obvious and heartfelt. The look on the winner's face is like Sylvester Stallone when he finishes a painting that he's really proud of having created. Champ is all like, "Yeah! Now you have to watch! That's what you get for messin'!" He mounts the female. It takes awhile. Then his head bobs ever so slightly back and forth, and he lets out this little wheezing grunt.
I'm just saying that I'd watch it and laugh, but probably not as hard as I did in 6th grade Sex Ed. I went to Catholic school, so we were already really jumpy about the subject. They separated the boys and girls into different Brown Paper Wrapped classrooms. The boys watched this video from the 70's about this kid who goes through it all. Hair, Shameful Ejaculations (HIDE THOSE SHEETS!), fear of broken boners, et. al... His quest for truth brings him to the zoo, as it does for all. He strikes up a conversation with this guy who's sweeping the place. He's not a zoologist. He's a janitor. The boy asks some innocuous question about "continuing the Line", The Janitor leans on his broom and grins. He fixes his hat, and says, "You Know, I see a lot of Penises in my line of work.... Animal Penises, that is!" I shit you not. I'll never forget it. That line was followed by the second funniest thing I've ever heard. At the end of the video, the Doctor who was leading the Sexual Edification asked if we had any questions. We're all Pingwins on the edge of the ice floe, and nobody is jumping in that water. After a tense minute, Henry Guzzo asks "What do boobs feel like?" Laugh riot! He came back from the bathroom later that year with his Little Elvis hanging out. Jenny Papa noticed and screamed bloody murder.
Oh Yeah! Boobs are soft.
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