Yeah, I like Fruit Salad

I usually only wander out from my cave under the cover of night for food and movies. I absolutely had to go to the grocery store last night. I consider myself to be somewhat of a connoisseur of canned fruit salads. My personal favorite is on sale for nearly half off, so I'm stocking up. I didn't go all hogwild and fill up my handbasket, but I did get 10. I grab the rest of my various lonely man sundries, and proceed to checkout. My friut salads start parading down the conveyor to the baggergirl waiting at the end. About the third can in, she says "Man! You must like fruit!", so I give her the spiel. Then, she's way too interested in what I'm getting. I'll admit, I chuckled to myself when I ended up in line between a guy with a dozen roses and a box of condoms, and a guy with a 12 cans of generic beer, and a can of generic Clam Chowder. I knew so much, but what the hell is this 16 year old economic psychologist doing digging in my grief? Yeah, I like Fruit Salad. She grabs the first can that's not Fruit Salad, and starts to spin it in one hand, so she can read the label. She takes a split second too long, and I blurt out "Mandarin Oranges", and bite my tongue to keep from adding "in light syrup". She says"...in light syrup." It's on! I'm narrating my grocery purchase from there on out, just to beat her to the punch, to keep her from announcing her assessments. "Bottle of water", I say. "Big ol' bottle o' water." It wasn't that big of a bottle. "You must like pizza, too." I only bought two! I've seen people buy them in fours and fives. Don't even get me started on my trip to Blockbuster. So that's my big excitment. I went to the grocery store and rented some movies... Oh well! At least I still have my special happy place. Im not talking about this, either...




Who buys fuckable beer cans? This guy.