Olive Oil Turtle Turds

I ordered a cold plate at a dive Italian restaurant off the Nove Mesto yesterday. I was stabbing hunks of Edam and Ham and Camembert and stinky cheese, and shoveling them in my face. As I went through the selection, one cheese brought me to a halt as I squeezed it in my mouth. Talking before swallowing, which I avoid at all costs, I told my roommates that I had a very important statement to make. They watched as I chewed thoughtfully, and added hunks of breadrolls into the churning mash between my teeth. As they waited, the anticipation grew. At last, I swallowed, and took a second along with a big sip of Coca-Cola a Vino (Cheap red wine and Coke, Not Bad). They had to stay themselves from blurting, "Spit it out!", now that I had nothing actual to spit out. I said, in all seriousness, pointing weakly to the three remaining hunks of cheese, of which I had eaten the fourth in one big bold bite. "That," affirming eye contact to relay my seriousness,"is butter..."

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