Sedentary Mayhem

I've been getting an inordinate amount of emails promising to connect me with hot hornies in my area with the click of a button. It makes me want to post a (fake) personal ad with this picture... but what would I be looking for if only I were a Texan Beauty Pageant Contestant?

Probably the same thing I want now, which is Norwegian Quilts.

I've always loved toy instruments. While I was in Norwegia looking at quilts, I found some cool nerdo ART.


I shouldn't fuck with that personal ad nonsense.. Any relationship I get involved in is going to prove itself... messy.


Though not as messy as a good freestyle Unicycle Video.


What else? I'm heading to Three Oaks, shortly... Funny Cartoons? Helpful Black Man Toothpaste? I don't know. I'm hungry.

Smoke The Lucky One Last

I'd heard that Marvel was going ahead with an Ant-Man movie. I'm a comic book nerdo, so I love that all of these superhero movies can exploit some of my favorite childhood memories in a watered-down, globally digestible palette. I actually really do like seeing the Heroes of my Youth on the big screen, that is, the H.O.M.Y. that weren't already on the big screen... Ant-Man, right. I don't want to overdo comics stuff, because the only other person that reads this site doesn't care about that shit, so I was going to do a lame superhero this-shit-was-on-tv-so-you-totally-know-what-I'm-talking-about post. I was lloking for pictures of Gleek, the monkey that belonged to the Wondertwins, Zan & Jayna, on Superfriends, & I found out that the definition we had for gleek in Catholic school is actually valid. Mutherfuckers were always gleeking on me.



My friend, Michelle, is the new hotshot over at yourarthere.net...

SOmetimes, I miss that whole ART crowd... None of that in Amish Country. + I haven't had the opportunity to do my favorite ART joke in forever. Stand next to a casual viewer, and then strike up a lasting friendship by saying, "Some people find this work to be extremely... Pretentious, but I look at it like this," then kick into a badass downtown contraposto, with additional verve in the Hippal & Neckal regions, throw my fingers up to my chin, drop my glasses to the edge of my nose, and, eyebrow raised, hum. Hmmmhhhmmmnnmmmm, like an introspective, self-obsessed mosquito...

I need to get groceries.

These are what kid's drawings would look like if kids didn't suck so bad at drawing monsters & stuffis.

It's too hot...

I had to

I laughed soso hard. This Site is for real, but the tribute site is what got me, but only when I realized what the little song was...
...

Prince Valiant Bobs His Hair

Everybody's talking about the Hurricane, so I'll get my 2 cents onto the barrelhead.

"And so many of the people in the arena here, you
know, were underprivileged anyway, so this--this (she
chuckles slightly) is working very well for them."

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That's W's Mom, Babs. You're living in a cot amongst refugees who all smell like they've been in a flood in New Orleans, with nary an idea of what the future holds for themselves, nor, for many, a clue where their friends or loved ones are yet... Beats the fucking Ghetto! Who's on W's Team, again? Show of Hands?

I think my attitude can be summed up with this Valentine's Day Cartoon from George Herriman. I mostly stick to relatively modern comics, but Herriman. Back in the Day, Comics just laid it out...

Sis humilis
Victus sum
Superbos punio... indeed.I was going to do a whole comics oriented post, but I'm not feeling it. I do have to mention Prince Valiant, becuse He was first published on the day before Valentines Day {Lupercalia}: Prince Valiant.
I've been looking for something in particular... I found a live breakbeat band instead, which led me to this cool Fantomas Photo page [I know I'm a slut]
,Which spun me off into the Bay area's improvisational music scene for ever.
I can't find what I was looking for...
Next place I looked, I found it. {Agrufulis, this is for you}

The Pig In The Python

This stuffis is old school, but funny.
I've been having Bat Dreams, which are better than Rat Dreams... I have those too, sometimes.

I found that Bat Pic Here...



I've tried Pheremone cocktails, but if you want a pussycat to present itself, as if in heat, then... Wolf Shirt.
Hey! I found a Fussy!...

Asia Argento & David Cronenberg are going to be in a remake of Sisters together. Cronenberg will just cameo. I don't care. I will watch anything with Twin Asias Argento... Big Crush.
Yesterday, It was Kanye, today? The Weatherman! Bummer:Gilligan died...

Heavy Lifting

It's been a long day, so this'll be short & Sweet. What's that saying about Nero Fiddling?

It makes me listen to "Terror has some strange Kinfolk" by Eugene Chadbourne & Evan Johns. It has a track on SIde A called George Bush's Bones Jig. Goes like, "Who's them bones/stinking up the barnyard?/ George Bush's bones.../George Bush's bones..." He wasn't even talking W...

Try to find Dr. Eugene's recordings with CVB as Camper Van Chadbourne. They do great acoustic covers of some zappa songs. I check out NASA'a picture site every morning. Sometimes, it's better than a horoscope...

I'm hungry & I stink... More on that later...

I'm going to buy Kanye West's album

I always stuck him in with that crowd of producers that drop sped-up60's soul samples that remind me of nothing buy Alvin y los Chipmunks. Mr. Lonely... I'm looking in your direction. Any How West lays it out on National TV, and you can hear nothing but turd dropping in Mike Meyer's trousers in the studio + Jon Brion produced it{thealbum, not the turd... that was Meyers}, and he's soso cool, methinks.

Waits Post

I'm in a strange funk, and the only way to beat it, I think, is to do a bang-up Tom Waits Post, then go accomplish stuff all day. I'm going to need coffee next. Not a bad funk, just strange...

I wish I knew how to mix up the look of this page... I'm not very good with computers. I'm just thin & pale. I'm tall, and I suck at basketball. Enough of my yakkin'. Grab some Waits from Russia...

If you want to know anything about anything remotely involved with Waits, then ask The Keeslau. The information on this site is jaw-droppingly complete. Nothing else even compares... The Juggly Guy reminds me of The Black Rider.

If you are into trading, you have to go to the Dutch. Also, go Here, Here, Here, Here, Here, & Here. These are a few really solid starting places for collecting live Waits.
Ok, now pictures: Here, Here, Here, {I've decided that some of these picture sites are so fun to look through, that I'd let you dig for them yourselves. Besides, you know what he looks like}Here, Here, Here, {God, I can get so lost in this sea of pictures} Here, Here, Here... I've got hundreds more. If you want, email me...
Oh Yeah! Check these Sketches... This guy's primary fixations are Tom Waits & Hieronymus Bosch; He's my kind of nerdo.
Anyhow, the whole reason for this Waits-heavy post is that I was reminded of the long-lost fabled Rotoscope Project that Waits did with Bakshi, read more at Keeslau.