I'm not racist. I have white friends.

My laptop went all wonky on me yesterday. The keyboard just wasn't feeling participatory. It turns out to be a good thing. What would have been a sleepdeprived, caffiene-hypercharged, fit of situational outrage, is now a cliff's notes anecdote. I stayed up too late on Thursday. I flew into work on 3 or so hours of sleep. I do it all the time, as I don't sleep so well. I have to unload a semi-truck full of 40 gallon water heaters. Every single person I work with refers to them as hot water heaters. Part of my place in life and its peculiar difficulties is embodied by my refusal to point out that they ar, in fact, cold water heaters. I just know that the recipient of this little observation would stare at me as if I were doing card tricks for a dog, or, say, a 40 gallon hot water heater. 204 of the bastards were staring me in the face on Friday morn. It's OK. I'm a scrawny tart, but I've been doing this kind of ork, off and on, for a dozen years. So, like so many times before, it was me and a random truck driver busting our asses, lumping out a trailer full of HWHs. Alternatingly, these herculean unloads reek of Jamais or Deja Vu. In all honesty, it can be split along a racial line. I don't mean to seem blunt, but that's how it is. Black drivers talk about current events, crazy road stories, funny jokes, movies, music, (I can't do sports, or else we'd all go to that place, too), any old thing that comes to mind. Those trucks are full of talking and laughing across the board. Now, I don't want to come across as being racist, but I've made charts. The white guys usually suck. They always ramble grumpily about how stupid all the other fuckers are where they come from and everywhere else. I bite my tongue, amongst the Hot Water Heaters, to not add, "Everybody but you... Everybody but you... You and me, of course! We're both a couple of Einsteins unloading Fucking cold water heaters at the asscrack of dawn. We've obviously made all of the right choices in life, and, by extension, everybody should bow down to our natural and predetermined glory, and accept our decrees on Taste & Justice." Instead, I usually just go to the John, and put my head in my hands.
The little Kyphote on Friday took all of the cakes. {I said Cliff's notes, but this, I apologize, is getting rantish} Let's see if I can narrow this down to a bullet list. "I'm not prejudiced. I think everyone should own one." "I don't give a fuck what thay say. I'm gonna call it the Winston Cup." "I don't understand why Mexicans don't just kill them selves. I mean, how could they live that way?" It was a steady flow of this shit the entire time.
See, in these parts, People think it's acceptable to make racist comments, as long as one of them isn't around. Them being Reggie or Shannon, the black guys I work with. I've made it clear that I'll cause a scene if she starts saying stupid shit, like, "Jigaboo, Pickaninny, and, of course, what shall heretofore be referred to as, The N-Bomb." The Salesman that works for us is a total flamer, so he's cool. The only other person is my Dad. If I ever said anything racist around my Dad, he'd slap the shit out of me. I remember him telling me, as a kid, that if you couldn't step up onto the little curb-high mental obstacle of being able to deal with people on an individual basis, then you are stupid. That leaves me and Reg, and Shannon. R&S, being card-carrying members of the Jigaboo Pickaninny N-Bomb Community, don't often make racist comments. If they do, it's usually about their Cousin. Based on what I've heard about this cousin, He's had his nuts knocked up into his chin by Reggie more than once. Back to the Nascracker & the water heaters.
Exchanges with drivers are finite by their nature. If they say something stupid, they'll be gone forever, soon. I've only had to directly shut one of them up one time. Some fucking open collar grecian fuck start dropping N-Bomb jokes on ME AND REGGIE. How fucking stupid are you? Reggie was working on or looking for something behind me when Aristotle drops the N-Bomb in preparation for, what I imagined he believed toe be, a really great joke. "How do you know when a Nigger Truck Driver (ed. Reggie is a truck driver)..." "Shut the fuck up." What's that?" he looked at me sheepishly. "TIME TO LEAVE!"
So, me & the Kyphote... He starts with the racist shit right away. He did so under the aegis of me having to send Reggie across town to get some more skids. I unloaded 51 skids with 4 water heaters apiece. I needed to keep this guy happy, so we could just get this shit done. I tried to have fun with it, but I was sleepy. The best I came up with was, "Yeah, it's easy to look at it as a group, but if you really think about it and pay attention, there are so many reasons to hate someone on an individual level.."
I've run out of steam with this story. My favorite moment?
"I'm moving to Europe in January."
"What for?"
The only Mexican Driver we had was Carlos. He ended his stay later that night in jail after being arrested while being chased down the street by a sledgehammer wielding Reggie in the midst of, what I am sure was, a tequila, coke, and shitty reefer fueled fishfry.

Sorry for bitching. SQUIRM needs this boat... Hell, i think it would be cool to have an aquarium player. I'm still feeling all worked up. I'll post a few hours worth of fun here, here, here, here, and here. I'm going for coffee. Go here, too.

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